On the day my daddy breathed his last on earth, Mumma said, “I need you to be strong. Now, you are the man of the house”. I nodded my head and sat there, watching everyone cry. “Men don’t cry, right? They stay strong emotionally” I thought, but, I was far from being ‘the man’ (I was the classic prodigal, who made some unwise choices and needed a lot of growing up to do). Thank God for a strong Mumma (she and God are a formidable force). They literally held fort.
Ps 68: 5-6 was/still is our reality. The Bible says, “God is a father to the fatherless and an advocate for widows… He puts the lonely in homes…”?Even though my earthy dad is no more on earth, my Father God has been the constant joy, protector, love and defender in my home. He stood up for us when that ‘baale’ wanted that land. When I felt so prideful and mom couldn’t reach my stone cold heart, I’m grateful for a God who loved me enough to discipline me back to ‘good sense’. When I needed directions on a million and one things, I’m grateful that He sent the best teachers and an ‘Oh-I-never-knew-that’ kinda wisdom. When I felt unloved or not pretty enough, I’m grateful for Father God’s compliments and reminders on love and beauty. Jesus promise is so true, ‘serving God does not mean immunity from life storms, e.g. death, but we can trust that His peace comfort, joy and mercies will be with us in the storm. God is faithful.
God and mumma has taught me how to be a man. I’ve learnt how from the great men I’ve had the privileged of doing life with, and boy, I was wrong, being a man does not mean ‘bottle it up and no tears’ (Men cry, they are humans, even King Jesus cried when he heard of Lazarus death), but a real man is one who stands for those he loves even in the deepest of crazy, he makes wise and ‘I can’t believe he did that’ kind of sacrifices for those he love, and when he falls, he draws strength from God and wields that strength responsibly with love, wisdom, and humility. He is not manipulative and loves big both at home and in public. He is lion and yet a sheep.
I’m grateful for a dad who was the man.
I pray I too will be ‘the man’- the woman whose heart beats for Christ!??
Wrote this poem for Dad:
Thank you for staying.
Not many men stayed,
for as soon as the storms of life came,
they walked…from family and love
never looking back,
but you stayed,
showing me that a real man will stay
to put a smile on his wife face, and to listen to his son’s dreams
Thank you Daddy for staying.
Thank you for fighting,
not with your fists, but on your knees
Your words never caused a war,
and it never broke my worth,
but it tore out my insecurities,
and poured hope in me.
It was manure to my soul
the nutrients I needed to be
the best me every day
Thank you Daddy for fighting the right way
Thank you for being an example,
not just on the pulpit but also in the bedroom
Thank you for being a lighthouse
pointing me and others to the one true light- King Jesus
And when weakness came,
you showed me how not to feign strength,
but to run to a grace that is filling
Thank you Daddy for being an example.
….I hope that one day,
my future son will be like you,
an exemplary hero,
just like His grand-dad
for he is the giant,
I’m proud to call dad,
and He is the man who is making God proud.